Sunday, July 28, 2013

Shopping on Saturday Night is a Bad Idea

Saturday nights at our local Walmart are a little crazy. Partly because most of our community avoids shopping on Sundays for religious purposes, and partly because the teenagers seem to think that's the place to be on Saturday night. Generally, I avoid Walmart like the plague on Saturday night.

I didn't have that luxury last night. 

I was lucky enough to get an evening out, BJ stayed with the kids while I went to a movie with my brother and sister, Brent and Ashley. When the movie was over we thought we'd stop and get a treat and I needed to pick something up for Sunday dinner. 

The, hopefully brief, shopping trip started off great. We ran into a family friend and had nice chat for minute. Our friend even offered to start as many blogs as I would like for the sole purpose of allowing me to guest post, thanks Jim! We parted ways and got down to business. 

We hit the DVD section to see if they had a particular movie we wanted to watch. No such luck, but not a big deal. Then we headed for the grocery aisles. I picked up some broccoli, cream cheese, and then decided to peruse the ice cream. After making our ice cream selections we rounded the corner to head for the chicken. I was in the lead, so I didn't actually see what went down but soon heard a commotion behind me. 

I turned around to see a teenage girl darting away from Brent. He was following right after her saying, "excuse me, what were you doing? Did you just take a picture of me? I'm talking to you...did you just take my picture?" She answered, "huh? No. I didn't do anything. Leave me alone."

"You were all up in my face with your phone and I'm pretty sure you were taking my picture or taking a video or something".

"I didn't do anything, leave me alone", she responded as she ran to meet her friends on the other side of the Oreo display.

Well, she did do something. She walked right up to Brent and stuck her phone in his face about two inches from his nose. And when he tried, two or three times, to duck out of her way she followed him with her phone up in his face the entire time. After witnessing the whole thing, Ashley jumped into action. 

She bounced after the girl and cut her off at the pass, "did you just take his picture?"

"I didn't do anything!"

"If you didn't do anything then show us"


"You did take his picture didn't you?"

"No, I didn't"

"If you didn't take his picture THEN SHOW US YOUR PHONE!"

She briefly held out her phone but dated away when Ashley tried to grab it. Brent and Ashley both followed after her as she met up with her friends saying things like, "you just can't get up in complete strangers faces with your phone!".

"It was just a joke! Calm's supposed to be funny" they said as the rushed away. 


Brent took off at almost a full run after them. At this point, I decided I was tired of cowering behind the Oreo display and wanted to finish my shopping, so I told Ashley to follow him to make sure he didn't do anything stupid, and went on my way. 

It turns out he just went to complain to the manager. But once the manager got involved the teenagers were long gone. 

I was still shaking long after we relayed the story to BJ. The only thing Brent was shaking was his head. And when we told BJ that Ashley had been ready to throw down, right in the middle of Walmart, she said "I could have taken her". 

Don't expect me to go to Walmart on Saturday night ever. again. 

Friday, July 26, 2013

My How-to Repertoire Needs a Little Work

I have been doing a little research lately on how to grow my blog. I love and appreciate all my adoring fans (hi Mom!) but I wouldn't mind adding a few readers to the mix. Here are a few things the experts say to do

Guest post on other blogs
Make a Facebook page
Comment on other blogs/Facebook pages/Instagram profiles
Write a how-to

Well, people aren't breaking down the door for me to guest post on their blogs...yet. And my parents always taught me it's rude to invite yourself over. I'm guessing that goes for blogs as well as houses.

I have a Facebook page.

I'm trying to comment on blogs and Instagram but it isn't really encouraging people to check out my stuff. Honestly, the most it's doing is making me feel like a stalker.

So that leaves the whole how-to thing. Hmmm. How-to. I guess I know how to do some stuff.

I know how to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I can generally keep my kids from beating on each other. But not always. Maybe we ought to scratch that idea. I'm pretty good at getting sucked in to old TV series on Netflix. Oh! I bet I could write a killer "how to avoid those piles of laundry" post.

Maybe I better think about it for a while longer.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Raiders of the Lost Fasser

Milgie loves her pacifier. LOVES. She calls it her "fasser". I thought about weaning her from it before Weezie was born but decided that would be too much change all at once. And perhaps a little cruel. She's my first to even take a fasser so this is all new territory for me anyway. 

Honestly, she doesn't care about it much when she's awake, she can take it or leave it. But nap time/bed time is a completely different story. That also seems to be the time when it most often goes missing. By "it" I mean the eight or so fassers we've accumulated trying to make sure we always have one on hand. 

We still lose them all. the. time. We had one such experience just recently. 

We had been running errands all morning and Milgie fell asleep in the car. So I hurried everyone inside, changed her diaper and ran her up to her bed. I thought a fasser was left there, but I was mistaken. 

So the search for the missing fassers began. I looked all around her crib, under her blankets and feeling in the corners. No fasser. I dropped to my hands and knees hoping one had rolled under her crib or under the Princess' bed. No fasser. 

So I ran down the stairs, frantically begging for help. "Come on guys, I need your help! I can't find a fasser and it's nap time. Milgie will never go to sleep if I don't find one!"

Olyut and the Princess have actually gotten pretty good at finding them around. They know all the right places to look. But this particular day they just sat there. I kept looking. 

In the Tupperware cabinet. Through the pots and pans where she's been known to hide them. "Come on guys! Please! I need your help!!"  I looked under the table and in her high chair. No fasser. 

I looked under the couch and through the toy box. No fasser. And the older two were still just sitting there! And, by this time, Weezie was awake. And starving. And screaming. 

"Please help me!!"

On to where we keep our shoes. No fasser. The DVD cabinet. No fasser. Weezie's bouncy seat, the bookshelf, the rocking chair, the bathroom, my bedroom. Still no fasser. 

Not a single solitary one. And no help from the peanut gallery either. 

"Can somebody help me please?!?!", I yelled as I started all over, from the top. 

Finally, Olyut replied, "don't worry, mom, I said a'll find one any minute".

I remember thinking that wasn't exactly helpful as I rounded through each hiding place again, coming up empty handed. I figured it was pretty hopeless at that point. I braced myself for the oncoming screamfest as I trudged up the stairs to tuck her in, fasser-less. I knew she would never possibly fall asleep without it. But I knew we needed to try anyway. 

I rounded the corner to Milgie's room, and peered over the side of the crib. There she was. Asleep. With a fasser in her mouth. 

Behold the power of prayer. I guess Olyut showed me. 

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Could You Win The Newlywed Game?

Usually the mornings around here are a bit on the crazy side, and require us to tag team. One of us stays with the kids, making sure everyone gets fed and dressed and chores done, while the other gets ready for the day. Then we switch.

But I guess the kids were abducted by aliens on Tuesday night because they were perfectly behaved Wednesday morning, allowing us to get ready at the same time and actually have a real conversation. It began with me complaining about something inconsequential, and morphed into something completely different. Which, honestly, is the way it usually goes....

I wouldn't worry too much about it, you'll get over it

Um, ok. 

Ok? What, you don't think so?

Well, I've been told that I hold a grudge so maybe I'll stay upset forever

 I have seen you let things go. It may still bother you from time to time, but you don't hold on to things the way you think you do. 

If you say so.

I do. I have been married to you for almost nine years. I think I know you pretty well by now. 

Well, thanks honey. 

I mean, I don't know if I know you well enough that we'd win The Newlywed Game or anything, but I know you pretty darn well. 

Hold just said you think you know me pretty darn well, and reminded me that we've almost been married for nine years, but you don't think we could win The Newlywed Game??

I just don't know if I could answer the kinds of questions they ask. 

What kind of questions do you think they ask?

Like, what elementary school did your wife go to? Or something. 

I'm pretty sure they've never asked that question before. 

Ok, then what's your wife's favorite food...

I'm pretty sure that's not the kind of question they ask either, but you seriously don't know my favorite food?

Is it creme brûlée?

Are you married to me or my mom?

I wouldn't have known that was your mom's favorite food! I mean, I guess I might say ice cream?

That'd be closer. Think about it for a minute. There's a shop that I like to go to, I spend way too much money there, I go far too often.....

Oh!! Cupcakes??

Um, yeah


Yeah. Duh. 

Anyway, I just mean that I'm not good at answering questions like that. Tami [his sister] and I played a game like that at a family reunion once and we lost. We got like none of the questions right. 

When you played that game with Tami, you didn't even get her birthday right!

Exactly! That's what I'm trying to tell you!

It doesn't help that I went to four elementary schools. 

See! That's another problem. 

You want to know which one was my favorite? I could give you a was named after an author...

Stanley Kubrick Elementary?

Um. No. That would have been terrifying. 


And Stanley Kubrick wasn't even an author. 

It looks like he may be on to something, we probably won't be winning The Newlywed Game any time soon ;)

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

The Soon-to-Be Mrs. Moses

My best friend is getting married! In roughly 18 hours she will marry the man of her dreams and create a new little family and live happily ever after. I am so excited we get to be here in Colorado  to celebrate with her.  And I am so, SO excited for her!

Because really, she is awesome! So awesome that I can't possibly do her justice by trying to explain.  That's not going to stop me from trying.

We met at church when we were seven years old. My family just moved to the area and she was the only girl in a church class full of boys.  And I don't mean just a couple boys, I mean like ten boys. First impressions weren't great....I thought she was a nerd (which she isn't) and she thought I was stuck up. Let's face it, I was a little bratty. Luckily, our mothers knew better and arranged a sleep over, and we've been friends ever since.

She is so kind and fun and thoughtful. One time, her family went to Europe and she brought me back a real live, actually from France, French beret. I think I wore that thing so much I wore a hole right through it. She had one too, and we would jump on her trampoline pretending to be sisters that both made the French Olympic team. The French Olympic trampoline team apparently.

Then one Christmas, we both got American Girl dolls. We played with those dolls until we outgrew them, and maybe even after. The only time we didn't have those dolls right with us was when we were trying to prove that they got up and moved around on their own when we weren't there. We would pose them and then leave the room for a while so we could come back and catch them in different poses.

As we grew older, we dreamed of of pooling our money together and buying a green convertible with tan leather interior that we could share through high school. But before we could even realize how impractical that dream was, my family moved away. Then we moved again. And again. And again.

She proved to be a great friend through all of it. Our mothers helped to make sure we stayed in touch by organizing weekends together throughout the years. Even though she made new friends, she was there for me when I struggled with not really having friends or having friends that weren't always the best example. She always had a way of convincing me of my own self worth while keeping me accountable for some of my not so great choices. I remember her saying things to me like "you know you're better than all of that, right?" And a would reevaluate, because her opinion really mattered.

It still does.

She has always been there for me. When Olyut was born premature, she came to visit him in the hospital. She comes to visit whenever she is able. She was there with me at my wedding. Now it's my turn to repay the favor.

And I can't wait :)