Thursday, May 9, 2013

Daddy Is Most Definitely Not Oprah

Daddies know about a lot of things. My Dad knows everything...just ask him. And my husband knows a few things about computers. Ok, he knows a LOT about computers. And providing for our family. He knows about politics, music and movies. He even knows a thing or two about Oprah. 

Everyone knows about Oprah, right? Even if you never watched her show, I'm sure you've seen her "Favorite Things" show spoofed on Saturday Night Live. Or when she was on 30 Rock.....LIZ LEEEMMMMON!!! Right? 

Please tell me my huband and I aren't the only ones that Oprahfy things. 

Even though he really does know a lot, there are some things he doesn't get. One thing my husband doesn't know so much about? Taking the kids to the pediatrician. That's usually my domain. I take the kids. I fill out the paperwork. I ask the questions and fill prescriptions and follow doctor's orders. And I'm the one that eases the kids' minds when they are certain they'll have to get shots. 

Maybe I lie. Actually, I definitely lie. Half the time I lie by avoiding the shot question altogether. The other half, I lie through my teeth......"nah, I'm pretty sure there won't be any shots today". Because I know what happens when they know they're getting shots. The crying and the screaming. Hiding under the back seat when we get to the office. And hiding under the table when we get to the exam room. So yep, I lie. 

But Daddy doesn't know about all that. Or at least he didn't before he helped me take the kids to get their flu shots last fall. 

He offered to help since he had some vacation days he needed to use and because I was about seven months pregnant and already extremely uncomfortable. So he stayed home, got everyone dressed and ready, and started loading them into the car. All while I began formulating my lie to answer the inevitable questions. 

"Mommy, where are we going?" asked Olyut

"We have an appointment with the doctor today, buddy", I replied. 

"THE DOCTOR??? Are we gonna get shots??"

Before I had the chance to even open my mouth, my husband chimed in.....Oprahfying the entire situation. 

"YEEEEESSSSSS!! We're going to the DOOOCCCCCTTTOORRRR!!! And EVERBODY is getting a shot". 

He then pointed to each individual child 

Obviously after all that, we had three screaming/crying children in the backseat.

Now Daddy knows. He knows exactly what not to do on shot day. Luckily, the kids still think he's cooler than Oprah.


  1. Laugh my head off! ...and now you know why I lied to you too! :)

  2. *sigh* oh BeebJ. His hand looks like the hand of God reaching out to inflict shots in his wrath. Did they ice cream or some kind of treat after? If not, I'd say he owes them. (Lucky for him the kids don't read your blog.)